In Suuratu Al Imraan verse 30, Allah says:
[On the Day when every soul will be confronted with all the good it has done and all the evil it has done, it will wish there were a great distance between it and its evil. But Allah cautions you (to remember) Himself. And Allah is full of kindness to those that serve Him].
There is no greater admonition for a believer than the fear of the day he will meet his Lord.
Hours ago I got alerted of a case, though not the first of its kind, it’s a more serous one. A case of a rich wife who entrusted all her properties to her ‘trusted’ husband. She loved, trusted and submitted herself to him. She is so submissive to him to the point that she has no access to what belongs to her and only gets whatever her husband gives to her which might not even be enough for her needs but she doesn’t complain. Marriage of many years.
The man was a poor hustling man while the woman owns a big business and she made her husband the head of everything and anything up till being the signatory to all the businesses accounts.
Recently, the man went to take a second wife without the knowledge of his wife at home and returned to the house built by the woman without informing her of what he had done. Not just a wedding he did but an elaborated one.
What makes the matter more complex, is that the new ‘wife’ the man went to do an elaborated wedding with is the wife’s employee.
This newly wedded ‘wife’ was previously married and blessed with children and still married till she married the new man. Although, they had a little misunderstanding and she packed out her belongings just to get wedded by her employer’s husband.
Weeks ago I also received a question where the questioner was seeking Islamic advises to his actions. The boss of his wife got married to her with children when there was no divorce between himself and his wife, just a little misunderstanding the woman packed out and went for her boss to be a third wife. The husband who was the questioner was about using charm to fight the man(boss) who took away his wife from him.
There are many Islamic issues to be discussed regarding these cases but I will make a summary for the fear of making a long article. Also, some points were discussed months back in the article “Taking A Second Wife And Being A Second Wife(1&2)”.
1: A major point among what make and keep a happy home is Trust. A marriage without absolute trust will loose its happiness. A total trust for each other without an iota of doubt. A trust that a third party influence cannot dissolve.
Trust is what glues the hearts and souls of two different, sometimes seemingly incompatible, people together. And it helps you understand your life-partner’s needs, preferences and annoyances keeps you and your spouse going when the storms of stress, arguments, financial distress, anxiety and external interferences hit your relationship.
Trust is what Allah asks us to have in Him for final results, after doing our effort(Tawakkul). So no couple should joke with Trust in their marriage if they want a happy home. There are many ways to build bridges of Trust in marriage (perhaps a topic for another day).
2: A wife being submissive to her husband is not a choice rather an obligation and it mustn’t be taken for being stupid by her husband.
And the wife will be rewarded by Allah for her obedience to her husband for fulfilling an obligation.
Just as the husband has the right to be obeyed, Islam also tells him to treat his wife kindly as established in suratu Baqarah verse 228.
So he should not mistreat or oppress her, or issue harsh commands to her. Rather he should deal with her in a wise manner, and tell her to do things which are in her interests, his interests and the interests of the household, in a kind and gentle manner.
The Prophet said: “The best of you is the one who is best to his wife, and I am the best of you to my wives.”.
3: In Islam, men are obliged to spend on their wives; the wife does not have to work or earn a living. Even if she has an independent income or she becomes rich, the husband is still obliged to spend on her as much as she needs. Because he bears the responsibility of spending, he is obeyed because he is made the protector and maintainer of his wife and is put in charge (of the household).
4: It is not Islamic for a couple to have a joint account no matter how much the love and trust for each other, what is not Islamic cannot be Islamic.
This is because Joint accounts usually mean that while the two persons who own the account are alive they own its balance on equal shares but when one of them dies the other becomes the owner of all the funds.
This is the usual way that joint accounts are defined in most civil and commercial laws throughout the world including most, if not all, Arab countries.
On the other hand, the Shari’ah does not accept that the surviving joint account holder becomes the sole owner and that the account continues on half/half basis even after the death of one of them.
We consider the fact that one spouse puts her/his property in a joint account is an indication that that spouse intends to give one half ownership of that property as a gift to the other.
No one knows when he is to pass away from this world. Wife can inherits from her husband as husband can inherits from his wife, in the case of joint account, there will be no measurement to determine the exact belongings of the wife or husband.
Hence, if one of them dies, then the balance in this joint account is considered to be owned half/half and the half that belongs to the deceased must be distributed according to the rules of inheritance, in which the other spouse will have a share.
Of course, a property that is not in a joint account will be distributed directly according to the Islamic rules of inheritance.
5: There is no problem in having a joint business. It is similar to Al Mudaarabah and mushaarakah(Share partnership). But each shares and proportions must be known, stated and penned down. Likewise, it is not haram for a wife to entrust her properties with her husband for management but she must not change the owner’s name to his if she is not gifting him the properties. Because your properties are yours and his are his.
Allah said:
“We offered the Trust to the heavens, the earth, and the mountains but they refused to take it on and shrank from it. But man took it on, he is indeed wrongdoer and ignorant.”
And the man who was entrusted with some properties to manage – due to love and trust – should fear Allah and fulfill his obligations.
Imam Timidhi recorded on the authority of Abu Hurayrah that the Prophet said:
“The Muslim is one from whose tongue and hand the Muslims are safe. The believer is one to whom the people would entrust their blood and property.”
If you will invite him to your businesses, then you must to clearly state the percentage which goes to him and yours in profit. If 50/50 or 60/40 or anyhow you both agreed on and that doesn’t stop him from footing his neccesary bills while it is highly rewarding to support your husband when you know he is financially handicapped. If you are giving him, it should be clearly stated and if you are lending him, you have the control over your wealth.
6: Taking a job outside the four walls of your husband is not forbidden as long as he permits it but etiquettes and manners should be applied while relating with opposite sex at work, and incase of any harassment and embarrassment on your religion, personality, family, you should be happy to resign from such slavery.
Likewise bosses should be careful with ways they relate with opposite sex working under them and maintain Islamic ethics and should not take advantage of any of them because she is working under you. The consequences may tell and ruin your business.
7: On no circumstances should you leave your husband, to marry another man while he did not pronounce a divorce on you. The marriage of a woman in her waiting period(iddah) cannot be considered valid not to talk of a woman still under a husband.
The man who intends to take a second, third or fourth wife should fear Allah in his dealings, as we have explained earlier and he shouldn’t be a cause of conflict or divorce in another marriage just because he is interested in the wife of another man. Take your eyes away from married and engaged women. It is Haram to incite the wife to cause conflict in her home so that she can get divorced and marry you. Even if she is a divorced woman, she must still wait for certain periods which is called iddah and another’s man wife or fiancé must not be wooed. It is totally forbidden as said by the Prophet solla Allahu alayhi wa sallam.
In a case where there is no divorce from the husband and the wife went ahead to get married to another man, such cannot be regarded as marriage and there is nothing to dissolve therein because there was no marriage. The clerics who tied the knot and were aware of this kind of case should also fear Allah for there is a Judgment Day. Such is clearly Zina. In an Islamic state, both should be stoned to death and their eternal life lies with their Lord. But in case where we do not rule by Islamic laws, both should weep heavily for their sins and turn back to their partners for forgiveness if they really want Allah’s forgiveness.
And on no circumstances should you conspire with another man to get the entrusted properties on him by his wife.
[Verily, to Us will be their return, then verily, for Us will be their Reckoning
(Al-Ghaashiyah 25–26).
In this, there are lessons for the believers.
12th January, 2020